You can love your partner and still feel unsure how to reach them. Perhaps small disagreements keep becoming familiar arguments. Maybe conversations revolve around schedules and responsibilities, while meaningful time together slips further down the list. Marriage counseling offers a place to slow down, explore what is happening between you, and practice a different way of connecting.

At Caritas Center for Healing in Tucson, Arizona, Karen Olson, MA, LPC, offers an IMAGO approach to couples counseling. A certified Imago therapist and workshop presenter, Karen helps partners explore their relationship with greater curiosity, understanding, and compassion.

Whether you are navigating recurring conflict or hoping to nurture a relationship you value, reaching out can begin with one simple question: How could we understand each other better?

When Is It Time to Consider Marriage Counseling?

There does not have to be one dramatic event that brings you to counseling. Sometimes it is the accumulation of smaller moments: feeling unheard, avoiding a sensitive subject, or realizing you miss the closeness you once shared.

You might be considering marriage counseling because:

• The same disagreements return without a satisfying resolution.

• One partner wants to talk while the other pulls away.

• Daily responsibilities leave little room for affection or conversation.

• You find it difficult to express needs without criticism or defensiveness.

• A life transition has changed how you relate to each other.

• You want to give your relationship more intentional attention.

You also do not need to arrive with a perfectly worded explanation of the problem. “We keep getting stuck, and we would like some help” is a place to begin.

Understanding the IMAGO Approach to Marriage Counseling

IMAGO Relationship Therapy invites couples to look beneath the surface of recurring disagreements. Within this approach, partners explore how earlier experiences and expectations may influence what they need, fear, or interpret in their present relationship.

For example, a disagreement about an unanswered message may carry different meanings for each person. One partner may experience the silence as being overlooked. The other may see it as an ordinary consequence of a busy afternoon. Understanding those differences gives the couple something more specific to discuss than who was right about the message.

At Caritas, Karen uses the IMAGO model to help couples develop communication skills and explore their relationship as a team. You can learn more about her approach on the IMAGO couples counseling page.

Practicing a More Thoughtful Conversation

A central practice in IMAGO is a structured conversation called the Imago Dialogue. It includes three elements: mirroring, validation, and empathy. Each encourages partners to give closer attention to what the other person is communicating.

Mirroring means reflecting back what you heard and checking whether you understood accurately. It creates an opportunity to clarify the message before responding.

Validation means recognizing how your partner’s perspective makes sense from their experience. You can understand the reasoning behind someone’s viewpoint while holding a different viewpoint yourself.

Empathy means considering what your partner may be feeling and checking your understanding with them.

These steps give couples a framework for listening with care. They also require practice. When a topic feels emotionally charged, having guidance can help partners notice where the conversation becomes difficult and work on the process together.

What Can You Bring to Marriage Counseling?

It can help to think about your own experience before reaching out. What do you miss about your relationship? Which conversations feel hardest? What would you like to do differently yourself?

Consider a specific moment rather than trying to summarize the entire marriage. For instance, “I felt lonely when we spent the evening in separate rooms” gives you a clearer starting point than “We never connect.”

You might also reflect on something you appreciate about your partner. A wish for change and an appreciation for your relationship can exist together. Both deserve space in the conversation.

There is no need to solve these questions before contacting Karen. They are simply possible starting points for discussing what brings you to counseling.