IMAGO Relationship THEORY
Turtle or Tiger Quiz
Based on IMAGO Relationship Theory by Harville Hendrix, PhD, and Minimizing and Maximizing energy, developed by Joyce Buckner, PhD.
Answer each of the 8 questions below. Choose the answer that makes sense to you. For best results, pick the answer that matches what you do first. Each answer has a point value (1 or 2). Add your points and compare them to the scale at the bottom of the page.
"When I get upset I tend to..."
(1) Feel tight inside and not express my emotions.
(2) Express my feelings with a lot of energy.
"When I get upset I tend to..."
(1) Adopt an “I’ll take care of myself, I don’t need anyone” attitude.
(2) Turn to others and talk to them about what I’m going through.
"When I get upset I tend to..."
(1) Not be able to tell my partner why I’m upset.
(2) Tell my partner all about my upset.
"When I get upset I tend to..."
(1) Have very few needs.
(2) Be very open with my feelings and believe I need others around me.
"When I get upset I tend to..."
(1) Exclude others from my personal space.
(2) Express my needs and try to get my partner to hear and respond.
"When I get upset I tend to..."
(1) Withold my feelings, thoughts, and behaviors.
(2) Be excessively generous.
"When I get upset I tend to..."
(1) Figure things out by myself.
(2) Feel responsible for making the relationship work, and getting my partnerto open up and talk.
"When I get upset I tend to..."
(1) Feel safer alone or in situations that are not intense.
(2) Get others’ input about what I should be doing to handle the situation.
Are you more Turtle-like, or more Tiger-like, or perhaps both?
POINTS SCALE
Turtle 8…..9…..10…..11…..12…..13…..14…..15…..16….. Tiger
To learn more about turtles/tigers and a new communication tool (Imago dialogue) that could help you transform your relationship, click here – Communication Skills – Are They Needed In Your Relationship?