Self help is a powerful tool.  Any action you take to further support and enhance the growth you are trying to achieve in therapy will be valuable.  Recent research cited by Psychotherapy Networker magazine (August 2007) shows that self help can be as effective as therapy.  Because we are all unique individuals, what may be a powerful self-help tool for one may do little for another.  For this reason, you may want try a variety of methods and focus on those that feel most powerful to you.

Self help comes in a variety of forms (not just the proverbial “self-help book”).
Below are but a few methods of self help.

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Meditation/Relaxation

As with the exercise and martial arts, the practice of regularly meditating and learning how to relax will help you develop new skills to cope with the stressors in your life.  Learning how to calm the mind and relax the body often play a pivotal role in the process of successfully changing old patterns.  There has been a great deal of recent research evidencing the mental/emotional benefits of such practices, which are often referred to as mindfulness.

Exercise/ Martial Arts

In addition to giving you a positive feeling due to the release of endorphins, exercise also has the added benefit of facilitating neurogenesis, or new nerve cell growth.  Research is increasingly pointing to the malleability of the brain and gives hope that even after severe physical/emotional trauma, illness or injury, the brain can rewire itself.  This rewiring can happen on many different levels, including changing a thought pattern, and exercise facilitates this.

Yoga and martial arts such as yoga, Tai Chi and Qi Gong can be especially powerful as a supplement to therapy.  Regular practice of using your body in a mindful, purposeful way, with increased consciousness of your breathing, increases your vital force.  Energizing the body in this way facilitates the process of emotional and psychological healing, and is highly recommended as an adjunct to therapy.

Self-help exercises

Your therapist will sometimes recommend particular exercises that are designed to enhance or maintain your growth between sessions.  You may find them on your own, as well, through reading, talking to a friend, or attending a support group.  These exercises often stimulate your brain in a way that helps you to bring further clarification to new ideas and ways of doing things and serve to reinforce the new connection you are making.

Nutritional supplementation

Keeping your body in good health and making sure your nerve cells have the basic building blocks for healthy function will facilitate changes you may be making in your behavior and thoughts.  There is a growing body of research on the beneficial effects of omega-3 fatty acids in depression, for instance.  Other supplements such as B vitamins, calcium, magnesium, melatonin, St. John’s Wort, and amino acids have been researched (especially in Europe) with regard to positive effects on mental health.  As with all aspects of your health, you are encouraged to search for information, consult with friends, physicians, and others who may be able to guide you.

Movies

Movies can impact us in a variety of ways–-through the portrayal of archetypal struggles, through inspiration, through emotional release (crying, laughing) and thought provocation.  Below are some examples of movies that inspire, stir, and teach–as well as entertain . (Titles that are in bold are either currently in theaters or new releases on DVD.)

I Am
Buck
As Good As It Gets
Gran Torino
Departures
Elling
Chariots of Fire
Fried Green Tomatoes
Good Will Hunting
Harold and Maude
Life Is Beautiful
Mr. Holland’s Opus
One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest
Remember the Titans
Renaissance Man
Shawshank Redemption
Shine
Sister Act
The Breakfast Club
The Sound of Music
The Whale Rider

Books

There are many books about particular struggles or symptoms that can help us learn more and sort out what is going on with us.  Of the many titles available, it is recommended that you search for the one that feels right for you.  Some of the books Karen has found particularly helpful and inspirational are listed below–along with her brief review:

Non-Fiction

The Road Less Traveled by M. Scott Peck.  “This is a classic!  Beautifully written with inspiring examples of profound change and personal transformation.”

Getting the Love You Want by Harville Hendrix.  “This bestseller is the seminal work by Hendrix, who is the founder of Imago therapy.  This book is strongly recommended for anyone receiving couples counseling from Karen, as it provides a framework for the kind of therapy she does with couples.  Whether or not you are engaged in couples counseling with Karen, this book is very helpful in making sense of romantic attraction, stages of love, why we are attracted to certain people, how that’s affected by our early childhood experiences, etc. and ultimately offers a pathway for creating a conscious, loving relationship.”

Keeping the Love You Find by Harville Hendrix.  “This book is geared toward people who are single and is chock full of exercises you can do to help identify patterns you have had in relationships, make sense of them, and begin to change them so that you may form healthy, nourishing relationships.  This book also has a detailed description of the various developmental stages and illustrates how lack of completion at various stages can affect our interpersonal relationships for years to come.  For this reason, even if you are in a committed relationship, you may want to look at this book, as well, if you would like to delve more into the developmental aspect of relating to others.”

Blink and The Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell.  “While these books have different foci, they are both marked by the wonderful writing style of Gladwell.  His strong background in journalism helps him to write a cogent, very engaging synopsis on the way the human brain works and idiosyncratic ways that humans behave.  He cites a great deal of scientific research, but does so in way that is engaging and memorable, rather than dry and pedantic.”

Fiction

While non-fiction books often provide a “how-to” guide for navigating our way through life’s difficulties, a well-told story that resonates with us can also be invaluable in assisting our movement to new emotions, new consciousness, and new ways of framing old experiences.  Often times, stories offer a special gift of healing that takes us to a deeper, more emotional level than intellectual information alone can do.  As ever, it is important for you to search for a story that resonates with YOU.  Nevertheless, here are some recommended books with a brief description and review:

Angela’s Ashes by Frank McCourt.  “A wonderfully told story of an Irish man growing up in an alcoholic household.  The story is even more potent when read by the author, which he does in an unabridged audio version that is available at Tucson libraries.”

I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou.  “The first in her autobiographical series, this short work by one of America’s most celebrated poets/authors packs a mighty punch!  In sharing her story of childhood trauma (including being mute), she provides a living example of profound transformation.  She has gone from being unable to express herself vocally to finding her place in the world as one who voices her truth with great power through her writing.  This is also available as an audio book with the reading done by Ms. Angelou herself.  The audio version is highly recommended as Ms. Angelou’s voice is a mighty one and hearing her orally tell her story makes it all the more penetrating.”

The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls.  “A recent bestseller, this book is written by a woman with a long history in journalism.  This background helps her to succeed in the difficult task of telling a personal story in a way that is literate, engaging, and believable.  Ms. Walls grew up in a household that included an alcoholic father, a great deal of poverty and instability.  The picture she draws of the life she and her siblings experienced is balanced and integrative.  She is able to illustrate the complex aspects of being human without resorting to simplistic, black and white notions of dysfunction and function.”

Plainsong by Kent Haruf.   “The author of this book has a very spare, beautiful writing style.  It is a touching, realistic tale of interconnected lives in a rural town in America.  Embedded in the story are wonderful, subtly expressed examples of people transforming and stretching themselves through their connections with people.  This is simply a magnificent portrayal of what it means to be human.”

Peace Like a River by Leif Enger.  “This is probably my favorite novel of the last 5 years!  It is a beautifully told tale of intrafamilial relationships, transcendance, and using creative writing to process it all.  While this sounds very clinical, because of my analytical interpretation, it really is a great story and a pleasant read!”